Addicted: Wearing Whatever I Damn Well Please

[Grant]

Addicted : Wearing Whatever I Damn Well Please
by Marlen Harrison, 14 March 2006

Once upon a time, fragrance was seen as an anointment, oils and powders were massaged into the body to bewitch, enbalm and consecrate. As time passed, fragrance was created for use as masking agents for body odours, as a cleanser and antiseptic and even as a method of murder (poison gloves anyone?).

In the last century however, with advances in chemistry and the advent of global branding, we have seen fragrance become the ultimate accessory of the everyman (and woman).

With scent becoming a major force in our daily lives - from grooming products, to cleaning products (by the way, have you ever smelled a carpet freshener that smelled like leather and musk?) - I have a little bone to pick with the powers that be... a question for those almighty executives that oversee the creation and marketing of our modern perfumes...

WHAT THE $#@!!@*%!!! ARE YOU DOING?...

Read the rest of the article here...

[Tovah]

As I read your article I shouted "Yes" and "Here! Here!" a few times, because I share your confusion, and I'm glad to have a venue in which to commisterate. One of my biggest issues in life is a genuine misunderstanding of a need for gender separation in so many things. Why are there always Men's Groups and Women's Groups in social and political arenas? Why is it assumed that women like "crafts".

"Oh good," I'll hear, "I'm glad you offered to help out. We could use someone to help decorate..."

AHHHH! I hate pink. I hate crafts. I hate decorating. I utterly despise shopping for clothing and shoes. I like arcade shooting games (like House of the Dead), playing chess, reading books by male authors (with male protagonists, even), and I love...heavens forbid...physics and science! I am so tired of marketing treating me like there's something wrong with ME because many of my behaviors and preferences don't fit into Western Middle-Class traditional assumptions. Your article made me think of my fragrance loves, and it occured to me that they are kind of symbolic of my frustration. My innate worldview is such that I do not automatically assign gender to anything.

Sure, I like some fragrances that are considered to be "feminine" and I've recently even devloped a fondness for florals, which I hadn't favored in the past. I love many fragrances marketed as "unisex", and I love many that are marketed as "men's." I cannot understand why marketers feel a need to differentiate taste based on gender. Should I be afraid that I will be mistaken for a man if I wear Mark Birley? And why would I be afraid of this anyway? :'(

I don't think that notes, such as flowers or vanilla, can possibly be "masculine" or "feminine" in any reality beyond that of Western social conditioning. And I cannot for the life of me see how smelling like a lily (for example) could naturally be preferable to specific gender. That would mean, on a certain level, that men can't enjoy gardens and women can't enjoy Grand Prix racing... That would mean that if I go blind I will automatically know I'm in the presence of a woman if I smell rose or lilac fragrances... This is unrealistic and silly.

If a man wears Fifi Chachnil I can't see how anything can be determined about him other than he likes the way it smells on him, and it probably makes him happy. Personally, I can determine if I think he smells good or not, and that's a matter of personal taste, isn't it? What else could another human being realistically and truthfully infer?

And how far can this be taken? i.e. "Serial killers wear Chergui, therefore, if a person is wearing Chergui, he or she is a serial killer." "She wears Mechant Loup because she's really a nasty wolf." There's no end to the possible ridiculous ideas.

Anyway --

Marlen, you smell incredible, and dammit, wear whatever you want! Thank you for your wonderful article.

[CASunshine]

I love pink, I love lace and ruffles and I love to smell completely feminine, so when I first smelled Gucci's Envy For Men and D&G pour homme AND wanted to wear them, I crushed that feeling! I even tried to satisfy this wicked yearning by experimenting with the women's versions of the same fragrances. After all, shouldn't the creators of these female-oriented fragrances know what I want to wear better than myself? Yet neither women's versions filled me with that immediate desire of something I had to have constantly near me as the men's did. Maybe I'll just go out and purchase BOTH for myself then wrestle my husband for wearing rights! Or maybe I'll just wrestle my husband, period! I must say "YES" and thank you to an entertaining and enlightening article.

[castorpollux]

I totally agree with your article, Mr. Scenteur! I am a guy that loves to wear whatever the &%&XX I want too and get very annoyed when a S.A. says to me at a perfumerie: is it a present for a girl or a lady? (even that question makes me think why should you separate what's for each?). And if i say for me (stranged S.A. look ensured), they come to me with some disaster (sometimes it's fine, i'm not that picky) of a frag for men and then i'll have to run back to the streets! Have i been mistaken for a girl when i wore Par Amour Toujours? Never! I have every right to wear that, or any frag i choose to be nice for me, even combined with a men's frag if i damn well please! ...or a girl who likes to wear Allure pour homme? Great! and sexy!
you rock! 8-)

cheers!

"And how far can this be taken? i.e. "Serial killers wear Chergui, therefore, if a person is wearing Chergui, he or she is a serial killer." "She wears Mechant Loup because she's really a nasty wolf." There's no end to the possible ridiculous ideas."
LOL!! great comment! ;D ;D

[scenteur7]

Tovah, Castor, Sunshine - thanks for the comments...

I think what it comes down to is each individual's security with his or her identity. The less confident and sure of oursleves we feel, the less of a chance we'll take with how we project that identity to others. But what bothers me is when fragrance companies prescribe what smells feminine or masculine and people blindly concur. With everything I smell on a daily basis, it's become hard for me to view something as inherently feminine or masculine. I just don't believe in limiting myself...

SA's would do well to show "fragrances" rather than "women's" scents or "men's" scents, but let's face it...it's not exactly easy to suggest to an average man that he try "Lovely" at the risk of insulting his "masculinity."

Marlen

[Somedude]

Great stuff, scenteur! Men and Women should be allowed to use whatever fragance they want! As long they smell decent :

[vinterdroppe]

Thanks for a great column as usual! I agree with everything you say here.

I have noticed that a big part of the pleasure of smelling nice is stepping out of the door for the first time of the day. When the fresh air faces me, and the outdoor smells mix up with the fragrance, I get a little kick every time(if the application was a successfull one, so to say. If it´s wrong I may as well turn around again). So, that pleasure is for myself. I would lie though, if I said I didn´t take into consideration who I am going to meet and what we are doing, but i want to make that decision myself, and not by commercial recomendations. I do admit these can make me undecisive sometimes, if I am in the wrong mood (gender recomendations, "evening wear", etc etc etc).

On the other hand I am pretty conservative on the issue of fragrance on cats and babies. Dogs could use some, as they can be pretty stinky. *

[emotenote]

Nice article Scenteur. I agree with your point, anyone should be able to wear whatever they want and everyone has a different reason for choosing a scent. I do have to say that I have actually smelled a couple of fragrances that I very much associate with masculinity, ie a men's bathroom smell particulary. There are just some oders in there that don't occure in a women's. And visa versa. There is a loo in a high end mall near me, that ALWAYS for some odd reason, smells like old-lady with bladder trouble. (please, no offense out there, you know you've smelt this) However, this again is really cultural conditioning, since some of those men are probably wearing aqua velva and none of the women are.

For myself, due to an overactive sense of smell, my life was spent avoiding smell at all costs, lest I vomit. However, having gone through several sinus infections, I now am less sensitive and having discovered the world of finer frangrances, am in heaven. These oders are for me to smell, they are to envelope me in a cloud and aura of my own choosing, and they allow me to have a space of my own, even when out and about. I might sometimes choose one to add some allure of attraction sometimes. But it is much more about my connection, my thoughts, and what I can then project too. What level of mentality am I at today? It is selfish and yet, others respond as well.

Thanks for the great articles

[Marcello]

Great article, Marlen!

Originally Posted by scenteur7

I think what it comes down to is each individual's security with his or her identity. The less confident and sure of oursleves we feel, the less of a chance we'll take with how we project that identity to others.

well said.

But what bothers me is when fragrance companies prescribe what smells feminine or masculine and people blindly concur.

I don't think it's as simple as that. Here's a few quick thoughts, before I go to sleep.

1. Most men, especially older men, simply have no interest in perfume. This is my personal observation; I get the distinct impression that even today, most men couldn't care less about fragrances. They use their deodorant and cheap aftershave in the morning, and that's it. They perceive perfume as something effeminate. If they own a bottle of D&G, it's probably a Christmas gift. I'm quite sure that people involved in marketing are aware of this, and that they work out their strategies accordingly. They want to reach out to this group of "non-believers" too, because potentially, there's a lot of money to be made there.

2. The popularization of perfume among men (or the spectacular increase in sales figures) is a relatively recent phenomenon. Forget those stories about all men giving in to perfume after Caron's Pour un Homme (1934)... things didn't change that fast on such a large scale, not in France, not in England, not in the US. For decades, perfume manufacturers did their best to lure the male audience. How? By launching products that were clearly differentiated from the traditional offerings for women. Stuff made specifically for men, from bottle design and advertisement slogans to the actual juice. And even so, it took time for the masses to get used to this new idea. I wouldn't be surprised if most men before the 1980s didn't even know there was such a thing as perfume for men. In the past 20 years, the social ''profile'' of the male perfume consumer has become incredibly diverse. Before that, it was still very much a class thing.

3. Gender differentiation is definitely less pronounced than it was before. Okay, it's still there, but only for the reasons mentioned before. There's a whole new generation of men who are much more open to all aspects of body care, including perfume and cosmetics. They seem more "liberated". But if they feel free to wear whatever they damn well please, it's also because they are allowed to. Social restraints are no longer as tight as they once were, which makes a huge difference. There are countless examples in everyday life where you see men doing "women's things" and vice-versa (I mean things that were traditionally perceived as belonging to a specific gender), which would be unthinkable three decades ago. That's no different in perfumery.

If men and women continue to grow closer towards eachother socially (as they are doing now), those labels on perfume bottles will eventually disappear, and those definitions of masculinity and femininity will be thrown in the bin. For now, they are a small reminder that emancipation and 'gender blurring' are still works in progress.

[scenteur7]

somedude, vinterdroppe, emotenote - thanks so much for the thoughtful comments! Glad you enjoyed the articles!

Marcello - what a brilliant appraisal! Thanks so much for sharing your ideas!

marlen

[kaos.geo]

Hello Again Marlen.

I enjoyed your rant, and I agree with you.
I must say, though, that as much as I would like to wear scents that are marketed as "female", they would certainly have to have a "masculine" aspect to them... Confusing? yes. But take a look at this: If you have a frame of reference that helps you decide that Kingdom from McQueen was mismarketed towards women... then it is clear that at least for you there IS a criteria that can be used to differentiate if a fragrance is for men or women. That renders your crtitique confusing too! :P
Philosophy aside... I tried Eau des Merveilles from Hermes, as I heard that is was marketed for women but smelled just about right for anyone . It is true.. the juice is great and aside some pesky floral note that I can't quite place and fortunately vanishes on my skin after a couple of minutes... I would wear it in a heartbeat.

My conclusion to this comment: It is alright to wear whateaver you damn well please, it will probably suit you and enjoy it inmensely yourself and probably attract the gender of your choice as a bonus side effect...
Personally I am adventurous with fragrances, but as you also said, experiences shape your personality...My mom always wore Miss Dior to Parents meetings while I was on elementary school, she wore it with a sheer wool tailleur that matched the houndstooth print on the packaging. I thought that she was the classiest mom on the world, beating the Opiums, the Palomas and the Revlons Fires and ices to the pulp (yes the other Moms were tacky, oh the early 80's!!!) I checked your review on it just now... I see you find it masculine enough.
For me, it is just the most feminine scent, the scent of my mother and dress up days. And that is my North as to what are masculine and feminine fragrances!

Regards and thank you for your rants and raves!!!

[scenteur7]

Originally Posted by kaos.geo

But take a look at this: If you have a frame of reference that helps you decide that Kingdom from McQueen was mismarketed towards women... then it is clear that at least for you there IS a criteria that can be used to differentiate if a fragrance is for men or women.

I think that had they marketed the scent towards men - it may have been more successful, as it seems to have found a strong fanbase with a lot of the Basenotes guys!

I'm all for removing gender from fragrances, period!

Thanks so much for your comments - sounds like mom's sophistication paved the way for your own interests in fragrance! For my mom, it was Shalimar!

Marlen

[lefay]

Marlen,

I always enjoy your rants, especially because they often mirror my own views. I've always believed that people should wear clothing and fragrance that pleases them, regardless of cultural or social influences. As for whether I wear scent to please myself or others: of course I enjoy getting compliments, but I've jettisoned several fragrances that have broad appeal in favor of odder, less accessible ones that I enjoy but that elicit few or no comments from others. So in general, I wear scent to please myself -- and to express some aspect of my personality.

Keep the tirades coming.

Lefay

[rikspector]

I just turned 64(shades of the Beatles ) and enjoy scents immensely.
I have rarely been influenced by *the medias attempts to label *everything masculine or feminine.
Smells are one of the most powerful memory and emotion producers.

You are right on, dude If you like it flaunt *it and *H**##@@ with the manipulators.

I've been a musician and work in the art field for many years *and have many friends of all sexes and really don't give a damn about their orientations,just what they are as human beings.

My daughter once said I'm one of the most gender neutral people she knows, well philosophicly,she's right.

You can't judge a book by it's cover or a person by their scent, well unless they really reek.

Embrace life in all it's diversity and be your own judge of it's pleasures.

Oh ,by the way, we often discuss where to perfume yourselves..

From the bottom up, the pulse points,,whatever, but *no one has mentioned clothing *as well as skin.

Anyone care to comment on that?

Thanks for a great rave....

[siren65]

I really enjoyed the article: it makes an excellent point about the extraordinarily rigid ideas in the marketplace about gender and about the snake oil seller-like tendency of perfume companies, especially the most popular ones, to sell old plonk in new bottles. and the old plonk is usually not very good either.

there are two things that i would add though: first off...I think it's worth remembering that if we are going to look at perfume and it's use from a historical perspective and by that judge the present marketing and consumption habits of men and women we have to keep in mind that until relatively recently perfume, in the western world at the very least, was an enormous luxury. Individual fragrances did not i think have to be marketed at a male or a female market, they stood alone and were bought, or ordered by the few people who could afford them. We also have to think about the variations in perfume "consumption" precisely alongside those configurations of gender that were contemporary to them. Not being a scent historian i can't say but i would bet money that during the 50s for example, the marketing and the scents for men and women would have been very polarized.

Now my other point. In the article there was a discussion of research that linked scent and childhood experience, and the popularity of gourmand fragrances such as Angel was sited as testament to this. At the same time you said that the fragrance industry wasn't listening to what consumers wanted, and what the results of such research had shown. I have to say that i think there has been a noticable rise in sweet smelling, particularly "vanilla" scented everything in recent years. From toothpaste to candles to carpet spray everyone apparently wants to smell like a cookie. to smell edible. In fact companies like bath and body works and yankee candle company have become even more noxious than usual. I think unfortunately people associate sweet things with comfort (hence a lot of us put on extra pounds) and the fragrance companies are listening to us on that score all too well, in fact I posit that they are exploiting the increasing need for comfort in a world that is more and more frightening for americans and are doing so with poor product. By all means if being covered in the fragrance of a fresh muffin is your delight go ahead, just please please don't do it with something that smells more like car freshener and may kill the cat.

of course the sweet, candy like fragrances also reflect an important market trend as regards teen consumption, which i think may in part account for the nose dive in fragrance sophistication. I will continue to wear fragrances as i please and revel in whatever i like including vanilla (you know, the pod...not the ice cream or the cream pie or whatever) and perhaps invest in some kind of breathing apparatus for trips to the mall. Anybody got a patent in the works?

sweetly yours with many thanks for your inspiring article.

[scenteur7]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments guys and gals! Glad we're all committed to wearing whatever we damn well please!

Marlen

[Miss_Madeleine]

Ah, Marlen, marry me. *We'll lead separate but equal lives and you can wear anything that makes you smile and have my complete support.

I am the only fragrance junky I know, so first let me say how wonderful it is to know I'm not alone. *Is there a 12 step program? *Do I really need to recover from this addiction? *Eh, let's say no.

A woman, I view myself as far up there on the femininity scale: *I love skirts, high heels, a little bit of ruffle or lace. *I don't leave the house without lipstick and I quilt for crying out loud. * I own enough flowing scarves to wrap this town and, like me, they're all scented with various brands of vetiver. *

Miss_Madeleine

[scenteur7]

Madeleine,

I need to see the ring first!

LOL!

Thanks for the comments - welcome to Basenotes, you're definitely not alone! And hey, vetiver isn't really such a bad thing to smell like!

xox
marls

[stevolution]

I recently went ahead and bought that bottle of Opium parfum I was daring myself to get. I love Opium Pour Homme EDP so much that I wanted to get the original: just for what it is. It smells like rich incense and that is what I love about it. I don't see it as being for either men or women, just a masterpiece that should be enjoyed like fine art, fine wine, etc. Those things don't have gender limits set upon them, so why should fragrances? Wear what you like, and while you'er at it, try other things that you normally would'nt do. (As long as you don't kill somebody!...or yourself!)
It's apart of living outside the box. Step of it every once and a while, and you'll see how the little things in life can be more interesting or even alittle exciting. It can build character and others may even be inspired by you.
People are so afraid of coming out of their shells or stepping out of their boxes. It's that "comfort zone", but comfort zones can become too comfortable and folks just slip into a mode that they will eventually loath. It's kinda like lying in bed too long. As cozy and comfortable as it may seem, after awhile, you'll actually become sore and restless. Does that make sense?
As far as myself, it took me along time to see that I can have more fun in life by enriching the person that I am, by stepping out of my box and taking a look around. And about other people?...
I would'nt call myself a "people person", but with learning how to accept and appreciate people for who they are, I've learned to cope with the way I see myself...my problems, and to become a more creative person.
It takes "balls" to come out of that zone, and doing so, brings about courage. I should know!...I have a bleached, blond mohawk with red tips!
That is something I would have never have worn in the past. People smile when they see it and making people smile is better making them frown. I like the attention of turning heads, too.
For those who don't like it?...I'm old enough to tell them to, "kiss my ass."
I'm turning 33 on May 8th, but for an early B-day present, my younger (...and richer) brother is taking me to a really nice restaurant in Charlotte, on Sunday. I will have my hair spiked....and I will be smelling lightly of Opium....and not the "homme" version, either! *

SO...


Ladies!...go ahead and wear that Aramis, Brut or Lacoste that you have been hiding in your closet! Wear it in public! Don't do it on those rainy, cold nights, when you're not expected to be anywhere. Wear it in broad daylight! And do it with red five-inch spike heels, bluejeans and a low cut blouse: anything....just PLAY WITH IT!

Gentlemen!...wear that Shalimar, Kingdom, Opium or Bandit, and don't feel bad about it. Your chemistry is different from the ladies, so it can't smell exactly the same. It's all in how you wear it, the quantity, and also where you put it on your bod. For "parfums", you can dab those under your arms because of the low alcohol content. Now, that is chemistry at work! That will put your own edge to any scent!
When I went to buy the Opium, I was so self-conscious, but I remembered that it's just aldehydes, oils and extracts. The gender thing comes from marketing. Don't worry about your nads shrinking or being accused of crossdressing, because it's not! Don't buy into the sexual orientation shit. I'm straight, but I have gay friends that are straight-up Old-Spice users and would'nt hear of wearing ladies fragrances, so that's crap for sure.

Go ahead...If you like it?...WEAR IT!
Be well and smell your best!

Steve

[Mark]

You've inspired me! Damnit... I'm wearing a skirt to the office tomorrow!

Seriously, though, so far I have gotten away with wearing Dzing, Ambre Extreme, D&G Red, and Angel to work with just the occasional, "You smell nice" from female workmates.
Bear in mind that this is South Australia, where it is a serious offence to admit to even a smidgen of femininity. Next comes D&G Light Blue... onwards to battle! Fight for the cause!

[scenteur7]

Mark - I personally wear all of those scents you've mentioned and am waiting for my bottle of D&G Blue!

marlen

[Tropical_Storm]

Thank you for a wonderful article! I myself pay no attention to the way a scent is marketed, and thoroughly enjoy wearing "men's" as well as "women's" scents.

At the moment I've fallen in love with Guerlain's Habit Rouge and am wearing it almost daily. What, prey tell, is so masculine about that scent? Silly, silly marketers!

[rmiller161]

I agree completely and am readly to visit the women's fragrance counter. Are there any out there that are outstanding first choices for a guy? I already wear and enjoy Jicky. I am going to try Lovely. What others come highly recommended from this group?

Thanks for the great thread.

[scenteur7]

Hi there - I kow there have been numerous threads on the men's fragrance board about which women's scents are popular for guys to wear...just use the search function and have fun browsing!

My current women's top 5 inlude:

Mauboussin - Histoire d'Eau
Lovely
J del Pozo - Esencia duende
MPG - Rose Muskissime
Scherrer - Nuits Indiennes

And 5 at your local Sephora that are a must try:
Chanel #19
Dior Dioressence
YSL Nu
Donna Karan Black Cashmere
Cartier Le Baiser du Dragon